half a world away...only that rem sings it better than what i could ever! im back in my home town mlbourne after 7 years in europe i dont know wheather im sad or happy im guessing that im just comfortably numb....i havent changed as a person i still smoke watch chick flicks and never do my washing on time leaving me with no clothes...but most of all i should be greatfull cause my family is here i have a good casual job and well i got accepted to the uni i always wanted to go...what is missing??? somehow for the first time in my life everything is going as planned and here i am trying to figure out what is missing....i think out of allt this whole senario that i am missing .

dont get me worng i love the people i grew up with and my friends and my family but theres just that something that something that i wish i knew what it is. iIfeel like the mona lisa everyone looks at me thinking now what the hell is she thinking what will she do next? from artistick in my other world ive become weird in the eyes of my friends in my home world...i havent figured it out yet...maybe ill never will...

its thursady night and i stayed home unusual for me but i watched a chick flick occompined by some wine but no rain and no depression in the atmosphere everything i do i seem to do but something is always missing...like the other day i went out with some friends i got drunk i danced i was happy...but...i didnt laugh the whole night the other day i went out for coffee but i ordered a hot chocolate...whats wrong with me im loosing myself cause there is no one around me that is like me and my search trying to find them is bearlly a search but just a comprimise of leeting the old people back into your life that really dont even want you there anyway...

i miss paul maybe thats whats missing beeing in europe for seven years i learned to miss him and now living again in the same city with him and still missing him how is that possible.....ohh yes i know...cause we will always be half a world away and comfortably numb...like the mona lisa now she is half a world away from me and still i can never figure out what she is thinking...only her creater did the only difference between me and her is that she knows her so call god...but me..no ...you see when you love a man its dificult to love a god any god that created your very exsistace....